I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
