Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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