That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
