you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
