you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
