The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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