We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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