Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
