I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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