I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
