Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize