Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
