He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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