My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
id be glad to
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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