hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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