I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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