im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
