Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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