it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
