he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
