Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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