thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
