So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
