My brain says no but my pants say off.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
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