When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
