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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time

  (1-763): View more from Minnesota

  Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.

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• (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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• (530): View more from California

  Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.

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• (619): View more from California

  I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.

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