And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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