SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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