Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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