I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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