yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just cropdusted the office
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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