You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
