it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
