I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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