That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
please come you make the beer taste better
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
