Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
