I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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