theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
