do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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