She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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