I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
from now on my penis is your penis
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
