Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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