He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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