How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
