Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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