I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
