Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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