Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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