that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
