doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
