He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
