No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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