Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
