You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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