What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
