Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
