then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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