She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize