So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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