My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
People in love make me want to vomit
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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